In some disciplines like the Social Sciences you might see a statement like that in a in a psychology or counseling paper but it’s usually frowned upon in the humanities which includes English history a theology so just if you’re not sure whether it’s okay to do announcing in your in your classes I would say maybe just don’t do it if in doubt but talk to your professors because it’s important to learn about what’s acceptable in your field or not so those are some things that are wrong with this thesis statement I think the first one is probably the biggest problem but the others are important too so let’s look at a thesis statement it’s on the same topic but doesn’t much better job so I’ll just read it out loud for you. Learn how to make a good thesis statement at Edusson.

First because of his well-informed strategies for eradicating organized crime his reformists stance on government level corruption and his extensive experience in the legal profession Harvey Dent is the stronger of the two candidates for District Attorney and a color-coded it here so that you can see we now have three main points now like I said you don’t have to have three main points in your paper but that’s a good average number of main points to have so we have three of them and then we have the that main claim that last part there the part that’s involved is the the actual argument that the person is making you notice here that the main points are before the the central claim or argument you could flip it and you could say you know Harvey Dent is the stronger the two candidates or district attorney because and then do it that way so we now have clear reasons for the position now the focus has shifted from the author’s personal views to the strength of the candidate himself.

So we no longer have I’m going to vote for this guy because now we have he is the stronger the two candidates and notice too that this one’s also just a lot more specific the name is mentioned it tells you what he’s running for you want to be as specific as possible in a in a thesis statement and then also the author’s more subtle presence or the fact that you know the author’s no longer saying I’m going to vote for this guy that’s also solved the problem of announcing so we no longer have that problem either so this is oh and notice too this is a pretty long thesis statement it wouldn’t look quite that long I think in a Word document you just it looks very long here because it’s not a PowerPoint it still it is it is a lengthy sentence because if you’re going to have a good thorough see the statement it does all the works needs to do it’s going to be a pretty long sentence all right now if you talked about peace estate mints the natural next step is to write an outline.